Since I have done everything prescribed to avoid cancer but am close to death anyway, after two years of struggling, I have decided to unload in this forum on three people who made my life a misery for four years. For twenty years – ages 19-39 – I held jobs where my work ethic, professionalism, dedication, etc. were readily valued by my employers. They knew I could be counted on to perform tasks without “micro-management,” that I was highly organized, showed up on time every day with a smile on my face and left nothing undone, that I treated their businesses with the same care as I would my own. This resulted in positive feedback, raises and promotions.
Then came my only child after 15 years of marriage, followed by my husband’s early death. After spending 9 years parenting and home-schooling my daughter I returned to part-time work (since I had to drive her to and from school), saved the money, went back to college for a year, then sought FT employment. But the economy had tanked, I was over 50, and my hometown was one of the hardest-hit with NO jobs available.
For four years, therefore, I was forced in order to support my child into two successive jobs where I was emotionally abused on a daily basis, despite maintaining my own high standards. The first job was run by a socially-incestuous family, the leader of which had failed SECOND GRADE fergodsakes and none of whom had attended college; two of three children of the owner lived in houses on his property, paid rent while their parents paid their utilities and reimbursed them the rent payments at Christmas; who hated themselves and each other but took out their venom on helpless employees. The second job was for an attorney who, I soon learned, had fired 36 people over seven years – even though he never had more than three employees at a time. I learned later that he had started his own firm because the large law firm for which he worked previously had said, “You’re on your last secretary,” and they weren’t sorry to see the back of him.
I had thought to expunge my extreme distaste for three particularly venomous individuals in letters to be mailed after my passing. Instead, I’m going to do it here because I would not want my daughter exposed to any backlash, and because no one reads this blog anyway – every other body in the USA has a blog – although the culprits would easily recognize themselves.
So, don’t read what follows unless you’re in a vengeful mood yourself. I have always been polite and considerate, but as there is no other cause, I blame these people for abusing me to the point that I had a breakdown, then lost my previously excellent immune system due to daily abuse, which opened the door to cancer.
cow, even if you started now
the rest of your life would not suffice
to mend all your offenses
out of spite and self-loathing
you’ve clawed and scarred
any who crossed your path
there’s no taking back the misery you’ve spewed
on all you knew, like a viral sack of sewage
but no curse could be worse
that having to be you
(And no-thanks for holding out the toy I bought for your child at arm’s length to show your disdain; for chewing my ass because your sister-in-law’s child had thrown papers all over the floor – I’m not his mom, I was not there, how was that my fault, bitch?; for imprisoning me in the office when you called up the foreman and tore him a new one for ten solid minutes, while you sat sobbing, shaking and ranting in a chair, because he’d had the audacity to inquire about an employee who was late; for telling me you were “hot” for your sister-in-law and that you’d impregnated yourself with a turkey baster – ewww – talk about TMI; for lying to your brother, with whom you have WAY too weird a relationship – remember stomping around the office in circles with fists clenched for ten minutes saying, “Bastard, bastard, bastard” because you were upset with him…and on and on and on, every day for almost three years.)
LIAR (I NEVER was behind in my work, while you were late every day and six months behind on inventory)
TRAITOR (I was the BEST of us three in that cramped office, never ONCE sending a shipment to the wrong customer/address or to someone seriously behind in payments, as That Bitch did EVERY MONTH; but her tongue is so far up your ass it’s dangling from your lips; and you’re not, as your only fan says, “Oh – oh – oh, you look so – so – SO cute” any more cute than a sow; you only maintain That Bitch as a so-called friend because she’s twice as fat as you.)
WHORE (Oh yes you are; you never loved him, just saw a way for the cheerleader-turned-lardass who let her toddler crawl regularly on a filthy bare floor to latch onto money; you forced me out of my job by lying and ignoring me when I had done NOTHING wrong in order to enable your sick sibling, who profited by foster-parenting until her jackass husband rammed his car into the establishment from which he’d been fired, to resume the job she had before I came along – and which she royally screwed up. I hope she’s screwing up again; I hope That Bitch is still screwing up the business by sending shipments to the wrong place, speaking hatefully to customers on the phone, continuing to send shipments to delinquent customers because she is too lazy to look up their accounts and antagonizing everyone unfortunate enough to meet her.)
“Did you leave those three staples on this table?!” “Did you move that trashcan in the lobby?!” “Did you push in the chairs in the conference room?!” (Plus four 1 1/2″ sticky notes on a returned envelope because he would not pay for larger ones): “Explain to me how it has been returned again?” “Why have I had to spend $13 on postage for this?” — all this daily nonsense and hysterical abuse, when HE was the one who applied wrong postage to the envelope BEFORE I WAS EVEN HIRED.
“DO YOU HAVE A HEARING PROBLEM?” because I could not decipher some name like “Darcelophus” on the messages. He marched me into his office and put the message on speaker-phone; I still didn’t understand the caller’s exotic name but the rest of the message was clear. When I asked if I could listen at my desk on speaker-phone if no one was around – a clear advantage – he said no. He kept badgering me until I actually saw a hearing specialist and gave him the results, showing there was nothing wrong with my hearing.
My GP, in whose office I had suffered a “depressive episode” crying breakdown before finally leaving the prior job because I just could not take it anymore, said, “I can tell you what’s wrong with this attorney you’re working for – he has multiple Personality Disorders, and these people can’t be fixed because they refuse to recognize there is anything wrong with them. I have many patients like you who can’t find good jobs and are treated like shit by abusive employers.”
Well, that’s it. I’ve vented and I’m going to try to leave all this abuse behind me; maybe my meditation and jogging will give me another year to be with my daughter. If YOU have abusive employers, I suggest you do what in retrospect I should have done – quit and take TWO low-paying jobs if you have to make ends meet. Anything beats being beaten like a dog every day, and contracting cancer as a consequence!